Before I start with whatever happened, let me just say it took a lot of courage from my side to pen this down, because I don’t really know if anybody else has been in those shoes (I tried googling it but nothing came up😁). Even before, my folks have narrated the incident to some of their pals, in front of me and I felt really ashamed and angry. And I realize getting over it is possible only when I accept it. Accept it as just an episode of my life. And let me warn you. This might be the post where my self-claimed weirdness actually comes out or you might think of me as gross. Nevermind.
When I was in fifth or sixth grade or something (Don’t exactly remember the year. Been like 10 years), I was a very slow eater. You know, the people who take nimble bits of food, with a rat’s appetite – yeah, that was me! To this day I don’t know if it was really some eating disorder because my dad would scold me all the time for eating so slow. Now, 10 years later, I’m somewhat the same, no improvement in the speed (except that dad’s not there to scold me 🙂 ). So, the point is, I was a slow eater and I couldn’t finish my lunch on time. That’s when the fear would creep in. MOM WOULD SCOLD ME 😖 had I not finished my tiffin !! Initially I was okay with the scoldings but then, something had to be done. I couldn’t show up at home with a filled lunchbox everyday. And lord knows where my brain went shopping (ya toh tel lene gaya hoga ya firr ghaans charne, pakka hai!), the light bulb lit up, indeed with an evil shade of red, and EUREKA!
That day when I went home, I tried it for the first time. Tried what? Tried dumping the remaining lunch inside the lunch compartment of my school bag 😊 . And to my luck (dismay now😑), mom was happy seeing an almost empty (need to leave some bits in the lunch to make it believable 😛) lunch box this time. Needless to say, this became a habit. And I was foolish enough not to remove the dump from the bag compartment when I was out of sight (three cheers to the old me). Actually, I can’t recall the reason why I didn’t remove the dump. Anyways, the rest is history. Probably I didn’t expect the decomposition process to happen in the bag (how brilliant!), but it did. Every morning, when my mom would go to keep the lunch box in my bag, I’d snatch it and run. I wouldn’t let anyone go close to my bag. I’d hide it in places I didn’t know a bag could be hidden in. I know it’s gross, but after a month or more, the bag became really smelly.
And finally, the fateful happened. One night, my (duhhhhhhhhhhhhh) brother (aaaarghhhh), then five or six years old, found my bag and started searching for some stationery. At that sight, it felt as if my feet lost all bones, the adrenaline rush,and the realization. He found out. So did mom and dad. My bag along with all the decomposing food and fungus and some small worms. And there I was, standing with tears in my eyes as all hell broke loose, the ground beneath my feet swept away and I felt like jumping in and never coming back to face anyone. Even now, memories of that ‘me’ standing there near my folks, unable to look into their eyes, scares me. I don’t really remember what happened after that. But I know they did not scold me as they were supposed to. After that incident, my eating speed didn’t increase, nor did I shove food inside my bag. I just brought back the unfinished lunch or I’d throw away the lunch at home before my mom could find out.
Me and my silly ideas. I feel weird writing this down, but hopefully I’ll get over it now 🙂 . Aaaaaaaaand, if anybody can relate to this, please do let me know 😉 .