Why do you even call it a love marriage if it aint??😛

“I am finally getting married”(not me). If you are an Indian woman, then what follows right behind this ‘happy’ statement (like a boomerang) is,”Is it a love marriage or an arranged one?  Or is it an arranged love marriage? Where did you meet? When did you meet? When is the wedding? Where is the wedding…” and finally the inevitable and the scariest one (scarier than the Undertaker’s eyes 👀 I swear!) “Kitna maangg rahe hain vo log?”(how much are they asking for?) It is at this point you finally lose the enthusiasm you had just five minutes back, right from watching Tom and Jerry😊, to Monday Night Raw😕! 

Just some days ago, one of my friends told me she was going to get married. I felt so happy for her. Happy that she was finally marrying her longtime partner… happy that both of their parents had finally given up the I-am-fire-you’re-ice game and moved on from that conservative outook so that their kids would be happy. But I still had that gut feeling, you know. I was hoping it’d turn out to be indigestion, but no. And there it comes crashing down, THAT statement, that one statement which makes your face look so constipated😐. “Maan toh gaye lekin jitna dena hai utna paapa ke paas abhi hai nahi. Don’t know how he’ll manage”(they agreed but dad doesn’t have as much money as they’re asking for right now). Followed by that is her 1000 watt smile, “Haan lekin hum arranged love marriage karr rahe hain.”(yea, but atleast we’re having an arranged love marriage). I honestly didn’t know if I should have cracked up or facepalm or just run somwhere far away. Dude, how does it matter if you’re doing an arranged marriage or a love marriage or an arranged love marriage for that matter? You’re ultimately ending up fixing a business deal. What’s the point of having a boyfriend or worse, calling it true love if you really had to end up giving dowry huh? If that guy loved you for real, he should atleast have showed the guts to confront his parents about it. What is the difference between your parents and his? It’s not like your parents are filthy rich and his poor, so the payment! Just because you’re a girl, just because you want to end up with him, you’re blindly going to sacrifice your parents’ hard earned money?

Even before, I have had conversations about this to a lot of people I have known and most of them would say “If you prefer to end up single for life, you can refuse paying the dowry. If we don’t pay the dowry, it’s gonna cause problems in married life later on”. OH Please. please people! Which world are you living in?! Problems arise in married life no matter what. You think paying dowry is going to let you live the rose tinted marriage dreams of yours? You couldn’t be any more stupid.Yes I agree that sometimes paying a certain amount as investment for one’s daughter might be good, but you really aren’t paying THAT MUCH because you want to, it’s because you HAVE TO. You ‘have to’ so much so that you’re even ready to take up a huge loan. A relationship started on dowry does not guarantee you the best life, it’s often baseless (often). If your in-laws are going to treat you for the money you paid them, how long would that last girl? Above all, don’t you know, giving, and also asking for, dowry is a PUNISHABLE offence!

To anyone who demands dowry, since I am paying such a high price for you to your parents, I am essentially buying you, isn’t it? So, can you guarantee me that you’ll do whatever I say and obey me the rest of your life? In that case I’ll buy you☺ ; else I could always buy a pet for much lower rates. I really don’t have the need to serve you like an idiot after paying so much, do I? And if you really love me, love me for who I am and not for my parents’ bank balance. If you really love me, convince your parents that money can never come in the way. Tell them that no matter how bad the situation be, we’ll face it together rather than blame each other for not paying money. Tell them that I am a human being like them, not a puppet they bought for their son from the market. LOVE ME FOR ME.

Say no to dowry (or else 🔫😛)

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29 thoughts on “Why do you even call it a love marriage if it aint??😛

  1. In any marriage, one girl is coming to another place only with one purpose I guess and that is to get happiness and love and to give same… This is the only give and take relation that I believe in…
    Baki sab kuch seems just opposite to love and actually against love if the term love exist at the first place!!
    Thanks for sharing!!

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            1. Oh that’d be great. Aspirants like me are on the hunt for preparation blogs! Getting some advice on preparation strategy always helps.. and inspires us to not give up under pressure. Looking forward to your blog.

              Liked by 1 person

            1. true that.. what’s in a name.But still, fingers crossed, someday we’ll know the name 🙂 . And i’m not give the exams this year. Either next or next to next year. Gotta focus on Post Graduation. Preparations alongside. (I’m a slow learner you know 🙂 )

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            2. Thanks again, Ms./Mr. Anonymous-But-Excellent-Writer 😁 . I’m trying for PG in international relations and political science. But only two colleges in Kerala offer it. Hopefully, I’ll get through 🙂

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  2. this is really nice AB , earlier there was a lot of dowry system prevalent here in Uttarakhand ,but with changing times and education ,I have seen it eradication to a lot of extent..especially in the families that have self dependent working girls ..didn’t know its prevalant in south india,I thought they are highly educated n scholar mass who doesnt believe in shit like these

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    1. Haha, that’s a part of the ‘hypocrisy’ business yaar. Yes there are good people but they’re very rare. Like, laakhon mein ek. And I personally have known many people who suffer domestic violence due to dowry issues. The society has shaped people’s minds like that. Yahaan par, dowry is directly proportional to educational qualification. The scene is changing but only at a snail’s pace. I’d really like to be proven wrong about this someday!

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  3. n the irony is that in old times dowry was given as a token of love by parents to their daughter for her settlement and good life.. slowly its roots took the shape of something else .. this is really ironic n sad

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    1. The thing is, there are a lot of people who claim they did/do not take dowry. There’s actually a loophole. The girl’s parents give dowry saying “this is our way of showing love” partly because they know their daughter might be mistreated if they don’t give it. So in that way, the guy can say he did not ask for the dowry but at the same time, he reaps the benefits of dowry as well as becomes a hero who did not ask or take dowry! This tricks people into believing that dowry issues are decreasing. Kya karein. It is sad.

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